Power Barge to Dead-Fishville

So here I was on the Phnom Penh quayside, ready to embark on a 250km journey up river, staring down at what appeared to be a barge. A BARGE! I'd bought my ticket and was assured that this was the correct vessel, so I went aboard. It was 6:30 am after all, following a fairly harrowing night, so I was consequently tired and not in the best position to be overinquisitive.

The thought of spending however many hours inside the barge was less than a thrilling thought - even at 6:30 am! The seats were tiny, being designed for deminutive Khmer bottoms, and even the bottom that was attached to my sparingly framed physique had to sit lozengelike in order to fit in next to my ever-smiling neighbour. I tried to nod off, but the constant chatter, bustle and intriguing goings on kept at least one of my eyes open. The cockpit (because that was what it was) was incredibly tight. It accommodated more people than could possibly ever fit into it (yes I know that makes no sense, but look where I am - in a bloody barge in Cambodia, set to plod the 250 km up the Tonle Sap River and Lake). Not only was it ridiculously overcrowded, but each person seemed to have enough livestock to fill the average farm; chickens, pigs, sacks, wives - how many were going to St. Ives? Sorry, got carried away there!!

Eventually, after I'd had some couple of dozen strangers sitting on my knee (some of whom I'd have been more than happy to remain there), the vessel shoved off. It chugged out into the middle of the river and then did something wholly unexpected - it leapt forward as if it had a couple of massively high-powered engines, which actually it did have. I've no idea what kind of speeds that little beauty achieved, but Christ did it shift! I christened my mode of transport the "Power Barge". It kind of summed it up.

After a few minutes, I ventured to extricate myself from my seat in order to pop my head out of the cockpit hatch and enjoyed the gloriously refreshing blasts of wind caused by the power barge's swift movement across the water. The heat inside had already risen past 'sweaty' and was bordering on 'melt', so this was very welcome indead. As i looked around, I noticed that there were passengers on top of the power barge. So many in fact that some of them seemed to be hanging on rather precariously. I'm sure that no-one was in any danger of tumbling overboard, but even so...

Pretty soon I became something of an obstruction, so I reluctantly "flowed" back inside and regained my seat (other cheek prominent this time) next to Mrs Grin. It was around this time that the two TV screens crackled into life - both at the front of the cockpit, and both relatively tiny in comparison to the size of the "auditorium" that they were due to serve. The in-flight entertainment was about to begin.

Now what happened next was a little - no, a lot strange. A karoake film came on. It was very definately Japanese, it had Korean subtitles, and it was dubbed into Khmer. It was aweful! I'm face to the floor when I utter that word, eyes screwed shut, and I'm shaking my head at the same time! Wait, I was the only one who thought that though. All of the locals sang along and seemed to be having a gay old time. It was excruciating! The film lasted around half an hour . . . and then started again!!! It played on a loop until I got my jibbering arse out of there. The journey lasted for eight hours. "I'LL TELL YOU THE SECRET PASSWORD . . . Just stop - pleeeeeease!"

Next time: disembarkation to Dead-Fishville, tuberculosis scare, and just where is "The Red Piano"?

And I promise it won't be as long a wait as the last time, honest :o)

PS. Don't worry, Alan's tale is still to come.

Clockwork Gallery Ventures into T-Shirt Territory

You can now get your favourite Clockwork Gallery designs on a T-shirt. The most T-shirty designs are going onto Ts, hoodies, bags, aprons and other things. Please be patient, as it'll take some time to get them all uploaded. If you have a particular request, just ask, OK?


create & buy custom products at Zazzle

Get your ClockworkG designs here

Sales are up on Clockwork Gallery

The new Clockwork Gallery site is doing very well, with unusually high traffic for such a young site. I hope this trend continues.

Merry Christmas from Clockwork Gallery

The new Clockwork Gallery site is doing very well, as is the old Gallerisation site, especially on the run up to Christmas. This is due in no small part to the increased activity in social networking via this and another blog, the Squidoo lenses 'Clockwork Gallery' and 'Continental Underground Travel - of the fantastic kind', and with the ClockworkG Twitter Tweets.

We're going to have a good Christmas, and we hope you all do too,

Best Wishes,

Chris Gray and the Clockwork Gallery and Gallerisation Team

Phnom Penh - The Dark Side

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Flying into Cambodia necessitates changing planes in Bangkok. If you're wise that is. I have a friend who we were due to meet up with in Siem Reap, Cambodia's second city. Let's call him Alan, because that's his name, and get to his tale a little later.

Once any sane person has changed planes in Bangkok, there then ensues a rather uncomfortable two hour flight to Phnom Penh, the capital city of Cambodia. The plane takes off and doesn't stop climbing for an hour, wherein it begins it's descent into Phnom Penh, Pochentong airport. Anyone who's taken a short flight knows the drill; stewardesses shove their trolley's uphill to dispense drinks and plastic food, and then try to prevent the same trolley's from disappearing through the front of the plane as they grab the empties. But this is a little different as the plane climbs so steeply for so long and the planes that ply away between these two South East Asian countries are designed for slighter frames than the average chubby European!

We landed and disgorged during the rebuilding of the airport's reception area and followed people who had no idea where they were going. When finally we were herded into the correct temporary shelter, we were confronted by a sinister looking row of officials who strained through dark glasses to peer at us and then at the passports that had been swiped from us on the plane.

Everyone sweated, not only due to the 80% humidity, but also because of the projected guilt that we all felt as though we'd had our foreheads tattooed with 'I done it', 'It's a fair cop', or some other suitably Sweeneyesque slogan. It was like Midnight Express! Honest!!

Next, fresh meat was called forward by one official or another by means of a pointed finger and a sharp grunt. My turn came and I was asked a few questions, which I neither understood or could possibly have answered adequately. Shockingly, I was ushered away con-passport and exited the building through the Exit tarpaulin...into the heaviest rainstorm I've ever encountered. Even worse than the one I'd encountered in Hong Kong a couple of years ago, which nearly washed me down the Mid Levels. I managed to bag a taxi, or rather, the taxi driver managed to bag me, and we set off for the city. The place was packed with people calmly sheltering from the deluge anywhere they could, smoking to pass the time. This meant under bridges, doorways and quite worryingly due to the proliferation of lighted cigarettes, underneath petrol station forecourt awnings.

It's a little known fact, but if you get into a taxi in Cambodia, the driver owns you! He'll take you to a hotel of his choice even though you state your own preference, and will be waiting to pick you up in the morning to take you to the river harbour, whether you want him to do so or not! I did, so that was OK. The hotel to which he took me not wholly against my will as I was knackered. It was however a very scary place; screams, chain-dragging-on-floor noises and knocks on the door came free of charge most of the night.

Thank God for the morning, the waiting taxi driver and the escape to the river harbour...

River journey, the wonders of the Siem Reap region and Alan's Tale coming soon.

Flickr gallery now live

Some of the Clockwork Gallery images are now available to view via Flickr. The aim is eventually to have all images up there, along with concept work and in-progress stuff too.

Crikey, it's been a long time since I updated this blog. Busy, busy! I've just set up Flickr account, which will have more added as time goes by. I've also enetered the world of Twitter! I wait with unbaited breath for the deluge of interest that these new streams will bring...